The reasons for my tears are too many to mention here, and that is not my intention for writing to you anyway. Just know that you’ve helped me today and that i am grateful for it.

I will confess that I’m not just a crybaby, I’m also a mom of a current LeapYear student (although it’s easy to hypothesize that these are often one in the same entity). My 18-year-old daughter is at this moment struggling mightily with committing herself to . . . well. . . it seems everything Sam, Cassie and Maren are offering. I see my darling girl as a starving sprite before an incredible banquet, the likes of which she has never seen before. She is, likely, confused. After growing up in a life of material privilege, she must be dumbfounded as to how, if this particular banquet offers such delight, she could have possibly overlooked such bounty.

I take some responsibility. Having grown up first poor and then in foster care, i likely overdid the “giving her everything i never had” propensity. Stupid of me (i realize now that i reflect quietly).

I share this bit of who i am just to let you know who it is that has heard your voice and who your words have affected. Today, years after your shared experience, you’ve held more than just that sweet Juliana, more than Connie’s tiny heart, more than that dying mama’s eyes, her soul, her bon voyage. You’ve held me, someone who is in some ways every bit as broken as the women of St. Lucia.

Though warm and safe and dry and fed here in this Chicago suburb (where hearts don’t seem to beat louder than a whisper or people tend to look away), this morning I traveled to Tanzania, where I too touched and thanked that Grandfather tree. I too greeted and kissed the faces of children who many might chose not to embrace. I too let a dying woman know, just by looking into her eyes, that her next journey holds more promise than this last, long trek she endured. Through your words, I was able to do all of these things and more.

You are planting seeds in hearts, everywhere. It’s up to your readers–it’s up to me–to nurture them.

Thank you, fellow traveler,
Julie

Your experience is so valuable to, not only, clarify what you might pursue, in terms of medicine or midwifery, but more so to get to know yourself. I’m a midwife in Portland, Oregon. I teach at the midwifery college there and am a former student. Knowing oneself and getting out of the way, perhaps only in American births (I don’t know) is so important for the transformation of the mother. You are welcome to contact me if you want to discuss options in becoming a midwife in the U.S.

p.s. my daughter is currently in India with Leapnow

susanmoray@comcast.net

All the best to you on your journey of self-discovery as you get home and sift through what it all means for your future.